We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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