You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
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His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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