There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
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i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
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The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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