I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize