Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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