Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
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he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
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Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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