so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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