you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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