Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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