there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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