All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize