Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize