I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people are normalizing furries
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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