My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not cheating when I paid for it
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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