you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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