He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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