Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
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I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
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You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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