from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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