So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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