It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
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There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
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That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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