The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
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You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
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we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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