Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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