STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
please don't ironically join a cult
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