You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize