Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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