Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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