Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(682): View more from Texas

nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise

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(682): nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise http://tfl.nu/kg9z

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(843): View more from South Carolina

happy early fathers day!!!

(829): View more from Dominican Rep

im not a father

(843): View more from South Carolina

about that...

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(843): happy early fathers day!!! (829): im not a father (843): about that... http://tfl.nu/tk4z

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single

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(203): The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single http://tfl.nu/a7um

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(914): View more from New York

My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.

(845): View more from New York

She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?

(914): View more from New York

well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey

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(914): My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener. (845): She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn? (914): well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey http://tfl.nu/elol

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(402): View more from Nebraska

You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it

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(402): You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day (1-402): If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it http://tfl.nu/wdhm

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(810): View more from Michigan

Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.

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(810): Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever. http://tfl.nu/u46n

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(732): View more from New Jersey

There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice

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(732): There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice http://tfl.nu/ufj4

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(419): View more from Ohio

its not a party unless mikie exposes himself

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(419): its not a party unless mikie exposes himself http://tfl.nu/ozsv

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(276): View more from Virginia

I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.

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(276): I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences. http://tfl.nu/f9jw

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(+41): View more from Switzerland

my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED

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(+41): my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED http://tfl.nu/sryn

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?

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(902): Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions? http://tfl.nu/r2b3

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche

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(612): I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche http://tfl.nu/ro2o

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(425): View more from Washington

The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.

(541): View more from Oregon

Mole people?

(425): View more from Washington

Mole people

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(425): The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are. (541): Mole people? (425): Mole people http://tfl.nu/8coi

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(802): View more from Vermont

There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking

(1-802): View more from Vermont

Omg so it's educational?

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(802): There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking (1-802): Omg so it's educational? http://tfl.nu/zo1h

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(315): View more from New York

On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.

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(315): On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties. http://tfl.nu/tf8z

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