Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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