I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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