My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize