Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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