Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize