i permit you to call me
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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