you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
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Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
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Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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