i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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