You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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