You're a womanizer and a bitch.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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