he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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