R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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