I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
high people should be assigned attendants
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She's the barista slut.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize