So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
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Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
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I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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