I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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