the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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