when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize