I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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