Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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