actually, I'm a sock model
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize