well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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