She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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