you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
It's shark week go big or go home
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize